Wednesday, December 12, 2012

My Funny Kiddos

Enjoy this conversation between our speech therapist and a first grade student. This is basically every conversation had with him...

SLP:                What do you want to be when you grow up?

Student:          Uh, I want to be a spy.

SLP:                Tell me about that.

Student:          I don’t want money.  I just want to be a spy.

SLP:                You don’t want to make money?

Student:          I want to be rich when I grow up.  I’m gonna let my mom have my other house

SLP:                What do you mean by your other house?

Student:          I’m gonna buy me a house where she goes and I’m gonna have another house.

SLP:                Tell me about your family.

Student:          My dad used to be a cop.  He is still an undercover cop.  He works at a store.  He has another job where they have a deep freezer.  My mom works at McDonald’s.  She brings home cookies.  My sister is big.  She bosses me around.  She likes to sleep in my bed.  She makes me do her dirty work.

SLP:                What do you mean by that?

Student:          Like pick up her clothes.  I’m not going to do that anymore. 

SLP:                What do you like to do for fun?

Student:          We like to take trips like visit our cousins.  We go to the park.  Me and my dad ride bikes.  We go to the store.  We ride around in the car together.          

SLP:                Do you have a pet?

Student:          No I want a pet, like a dog or a goldfish or a Chihuahua or a parrot.  I’m gonna

Get a goldfish cause they say a dog’s gonna eat me up.  They don’t think I’m gonna take care of my dog.  They don’t trust me.  They think I’m gonna tell my dog to eat up my enemy’s clothes.  What kind of person does that?

SLP:                If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

Student:          To be rich, have a happy family, not a bossy mother, and a dad that doesn’t whip

Me, and my sister not to make me do her dirty work.  To have my dad not have a mustache and my sister and my mom to have their toes pretty, painted pink or light pink.  That’s it!