Gracious reminders

"Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, 'I believed, and so I spoke,' we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:13-18 (ESV)

Week in review: high and low

Low point:
Calling child services every day this week only to have them tell us that if we want anything to happen we should just call the police. Then calling the police and having them show up, talk to the child, take her to the hospital, then send her straight back into the situation that we are trying to get her out of. My heart breaks for this innocent child and I am so frustrated at our social system that has failed her.


High point:
One of my student's, let's call her Ms Princess for future reference, has been quiet a diva this week. She has been screaming, pushing, and hitting when I make her do any work or wait in lines with her peers. These are all things that she can do so I don't back down but this means that there is a constant battle between us. I try to act as the enforcer while showing no emotion so that I don't reinforce her behaviors and she finally will do what she needs to do but it is exhausting. We've been having about 4 showdowns a day.
Thursday I was working with her another peer in her class and she was getting to take a break. She came skipping (note the diva-ness--she doesn't just walk anywhere, she prances) up to me from across the room and planted two kisses on my cheek. I have no idea what motivated this action but it melted my heart. Thank you God for these small moments.

Foster parenting

God has placed me in a job where I encounter children from broken homes and have the blessing of being a part of their lives. It breaks my heart that these small children don't have the opportunity to live a carefree life like children should be able to live. One of my newest kids comes from a situation that absolutely shatters my heart. Excuse the comparison but the best way to describe her demeanor is to compare it to that of a puppy who has been repeatedly beaten and cowers when you go to gently pet it. She is constantly living in fear.

I've thought a lot about being a foster parent or adopting in the past but always saw it as something in the far off future that I would do after I've been married for a while. Recently, I feel like God is pushing foster parenting closer and closer. It isn't a possibility right now due to my living situation but may very well be around August of next year. This is a very scary thing. I'm scared to death of giving up my freedom and independence and having a child totally depend on me to meet their needs. Not to mention I would be a single parent. Did I say scary?! It freaks me out completely but I go to work every day and see kids in need of a stable home (we have many great parents and families involved with our school too). How can I not offer myself and my home when it is exactly what they need?

I'm freaking out. Please pray for me--that I would do God's will whatever it may be and no matter how scary it may be.

All Things Fall

The weather following Tropical Storm Lee has been fantastic! It actually feels like early Fall (still hot but less humidity) and the weather is just in time for football season, which is the true sign that Summer is officially over.

I spent last weekend (the first official weekend of Fall, in my opinion) enjoying Charleston, SC and all that it has to offer--great food, fabulous company, pleasant weather, ocean breeze, front porches, and southern hospitality. I'll be sure to post some pictures once I get them uploaded.

This weekend was spent trying to soak up all things Fall. I spent the ENTIRE day Saturday watching football. The day started at 9am with College Gameday and announcers who have no faith in Auburn. We proved them wrong in a nail biting game. Then I watched bits of other SEC games and a good game between Notre Dame and Michigan which rounded up my night around 10:30pm. I only left the couch to workout, shower, and make hummus. It was fantastic!!

Today I enjoyed the day by biking to church, running some errands, and cooking. I know I have talked about how I enjoy cooking before but I want to reiterate how therapeutic it is to me. I get a rush cooking for others, playing around with a variety of flavors, and adapting recipes to make them healthier. Here is what I made today:
1. I adapted a recipe for Artichoke Quiche to make an even healthier version. I substituted wild rice instead of white rice, cheddar flavored veggie shred instead of cheddar cheese, and egg whites instead of egg substitute which led to a lower calorie and carb count with added protein (4 servings, 200 calories each). This meal is great for anytime of the day!
2. Italian Eggs over Spinach and Polenta-- I actually followed the recipe from Cooking Light on this one. I even surprise my self sometimes. :)
3. Pumpkin Spice Granola-- I didn't have any cardamom so I left that out and I opted to add some sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, and raisins to the mixture. I LOVE all things pumpkin.
4. I had the rest of the can of pumpkin left over after making the granola so I just had to make something else. It was just meant to be when I stumbled across this recipe for Impossible Pumpkin Pie Cupcakes. Yum. I prefer them without the whipped cream. I challenge you to make them and try just eating one. It's impossible!

Let me know if you try any of these recipes and how they turn out. How have you been enjoying Fall?

Stupid Criminals

My bike was stolen about a week ago out from under my enclosed front porch. You can't really see in so someone must have watched my roommate put it under there or was looking around for something to take. I hoped that it was stolen because someone saw it being put under the porch. This would mean that someone in my neighborhood took it and I would likely see it around.

Well, today was that day. Not only was it someone in my neighborhood that took it but my neighbor that lives two doors down. She is an overweight, African American woman who seems to have a mental disability. I drove home from work early today because I wasn't feeling well. When I pulled up, I saw her get off the bike and stick it behind a vehicle so I couldn't see it. I approached her and nonchalantly asked her where she got the bike. Her response was that someone sold it to her. I told her that it was my bike and had been stolen. When I asked who sold it to her, she said that she couldn't tell me. I said, "well, I hope you can get your money back" and "thanks for helping me find my bike" ... and walked away with my bike which is now safe and sound in my living room.

Ugh!!! This world is so broken!!

This situation also makes me think about the students that I work with who have all types of disabilities. I do not want them to grow up and become this person. My goal is for them to become positive contributors to their community and society as a whole. I only work with my students for a limited number of years but I hope and pray that my work with them starts them on the right path. I love my kiddos. Every last one.

Trying to remember that I’m the grown up

*Deep sigh* Today was rough. I work with a population that likes their routines and structure (and let’s face it…so do I) but we are only on day 6 of school and the routines are not fully engrained in our minds. We’re also working out the kinks of scheduling instruction and supports so that our students can be successful in the classroom. The meltdowns throughout the day make me feel like I’m not meeting their needs. Actually, I am definitely not meeting their needs at this point. I know it is never going to be perfect but I want my students to be comfortable in school and be able to participate in class. Right now this is not happening.

My day started out with wrangling my new kindergarten kids through the breakfast line and repeating the same directions 5 MILLION times. –Hands by your side. Body still. Turn around. Stay in the line. Keep your body off of other people. Hands down. Stand up tall. –Then a new 1^st grader comes in and has a melt down because he doesn’t know where I am. After I settle my kindergartner with her breakfast and rush to the side of my tantrum throwing student, he refuses to walk through the line. However, he wants breakfast and is willing to stand in one place and yell and cry until it comes about. Little does he know that I don’t give in easily. After 5-10 minutes of him yelling, I convince him to walk through the line (still yelling) and sit at a table. He finally eats some of his food and I set a visual timer to let him know how long he has until he has to throw it away. When the timer goes off, I tell him that it is time to throw our breakfast away and he shoves a whole biscuit in his mouth. He doesn’t want to throw anything away so I pick up his tray and throw it away. This causes a full out meltdown (and let me remind you, this is with his mouth full of biscuit and a cafeteria full of k-2^nd graders). The biscuit ends up all over the table and he ends up on the floor—screaming, with big alligator tears rolling down his face and snot oozing everywhere. I maneuver him out of the cafeteria and convince him to take a deep breath, which finally calms him down.

This was all within the first 45 minutes of my day and serves as a good indicator of what the rest of my day was like. By the end of the day, I was struggling to soothe my students and remind them of the routines in place. It took all the mental strength I had left to not have a meltdown myself.

Parents, how do you do it????

Pray for me.

School is like Spinach

Some kids like it. Others don't like but will eat it because they know it is good for them. However, some kids just don't like it and will fight you if you try to make them eat it.

Our kids start back tomorrow and I am so excited to see their faces again and get to invest in their lives. I am anxiously anticipating what will work and what obstacles we will face. Please pray for the teachers to have a peace about this week and not worry over the small things that will go wrong. It is going to be a long week but I can't wait for morning!

I have been insanely busy preparing independent workstations, visual schedules, emotions charts, intervention schedules, first-then boards, and participating in professional development for the past two weeks. I wanted to spend some time this weekend resting and mentally preparing myself for Monday morning. One thing I enjoy doing is cooking and baking. Last night I made delicious Paula Deen Salmon Patties and Chocolate Cherry Nut Bars from one of my new favorite food blogs, Peas and Thank You. Cooking is therapeutic for me and I love experimenting with new recipes. Today has been spent at church, watching reruns of my guilty pleasure...Grey's Anatomy, and hopefully going to Target to get some comfy teaching shoes.

First day of school, here I come!