Midnight Musings

Credit for this post goes to the New Orleans Police Department. They just woke me up at 11:30 by pounding on my door--waking me up and scaring me to death--looking for a white guy that is supposed to be from my neighborhood and his family hasn't been able to get in touch with him for a couple of days. How did I get blessed to be chosen for the questioning? No idea.

As the police were leaving, both of them mentioned that I need to have my landlord put burglar bars on my windows and I need to leave my outdoor lights on at night. So I immediately turned all of my lights on and now I'm sitting wide awake on my couch listening to a sermon and writing to you all. I'm not sure whether or not to ask my landlord to put up burglar bars. 

Here's the debate in my head: 

I've met all of my surrounding neighbors and I have faith that they will look out for me, but my neighborhood isn't the safest place. I will also have kids soon so it is not only myself that I have to look out for anymore. But If I put bars on my windows, will this close any doors to communicating with my neighbors by acting like I don't trust them? I think I'll talk to my neighbors about it and see what they say. I think they'd recommend putting bars up but I don't want them to think that I don't trust them. 

C'est la vie

Don't tell my mom

Every morning I walk out my back door and face my neighbor's house. She has ornately painted her house a bright purple with colorful designs in memory of her son that was murdered right in front of their house 10 years ago. There is also a sign on her house that says "murder scene". It is a daily reminder of the pain and brokenness we live in in this world.

Today I had an even closer and scarier reminder. I was napping on my couch when I woke up to a number of sirens going off outside. I normally hear sirens pass by because I live close to a main road but this was more than usual. I peeked out of my front door and didn't see anything directly outside so I carried on with what I was doing thinking that it was just the music festival that was going on this weekend. A few hours later I was watching the news and they were covering a story of a man who was shot and killed just a block from my house. I don't know yet if he's a direct neighbor or was visiting friends. He was just 21 years old and holding a baby when someone shot him in the face. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of evil person would shoot someone much less a person holding an innocent infant. It makes me sick.

"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell." Mathew 10:28 ESV

"The fear of a man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe." Proverbs 29:25 ESV

"You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word." Psalm 119:114 ESV

"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8 ESV

Another world

Sometimes I feel like I live in a different world...

We've had a series of incidents with middle school kids in the city. One 13 year old was shot while getting off the school bus. And a 15 year old couple was shot and killed just days apart. it is heart breaking thinking about what their friends and families are going through. It is also saddening knowing that this pain and sorrow is a reality for many of my students.

The recent events affecting school age kids have also forced us to have an increased awareness and heightened sense of security. We have practiced lockdown procedures multiple times in the past week. It is while I'm hiding in the closet or behind playground equipment with my students that I yearn for jesus to return. I am thankful and praise God that it has been just practice for us so far and I pray that God continues to protect us.

"The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe."

Proverbs 29:25 (ESV)

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Glorious Rest

God has graciously heard my cries and provided me with many different forms of rest and encouragement this week. I'm writing this post while sitting on a balcony snuggled up with my coffee, overlooking the beautiful blue ocean at Perdido beach. It is wonderfully peaceful with the wind blowing through the palms, the birds chirping, and the beaches void of any bodies other than our cute lifeguard. :) (Mom--before you comment, he is way too young for me)

Lately things have been going at full speed with no breaks in between. This is life and I don't know if it will ever change but I have begun to see the need to escape periodically so that I can recharge and continue to minister to those around me.

I was encouraged while listening to our church sermon a couple of weeks ago. One of my pastors preached on Mark 6:30-44 when Jesus feeds the 5,000. The key points that I walked away with were this:
1. Jesus acknowledged the disciples need for rest. I do not need to feel guilty about needing to escape every once in a while.
2. My image of rest and retreat may be different from God's. God commanded the disciples to feed the hungry while they were looking to rest. The disciples saw the masses as a burden and wanted to send them away but Jesus sees them and immediately shows them compassion and mercy.
3. When we feast on Jesus, we have new life and are refreshed. I need to escape and run to Christ constantly for rest.
4. Jesus works mighty miracles and will go to great lengths to feed his people! This feast should be a reminder of the heavenly feast we will have one day.

One step closer

I started entertaining thoughts about becoming a foster parent almost a year ago now so it is exciting to be so much closer to actually getting kids. I've taken the required classes from the state, got my physical out of the way, and am making an appointment to be fingerprinted next week. The next steps that have been hanging over me were to find my own place so I can start setting up the kids' rooms and the state will make a few visits over a month long period. 

This weekend God provided me with the perfect place. It is a 3 bedroom 2 bath home with separate bedrooms (hallelujah for no shotgun style rooms!), central heat and air, washer/dryer hookups, hardwood floors, and fenced in outdoor space. I'm excited about everything about this house but especially excited that it is only a mile from school so I can easily bike to work every day. The neighborhood is also going to be great! Everyone was out on their porches or walking around when I went to the open house Saturday morning so it will be easy getting to know my neighbors. It is also a mixed income neighborhood so there will be many opportunities to minister to my neighbors. 

I found the listing on craigslist Friday night. It made me so excited that I emailed and called the guy to let him know how interested I was and that I would be the first one at the open house the next day. I pretty much walked in, glanced around, and told him I wanted it. He had me to fill out an application and got back to me last night to let me know that it is mine. I sign the lease and get the keys tomorrow.

God is so good!

My new Favorite song.

Good Morning to my few faithful followers. You all should get a prize for your commitment to something that is so inconsistent. I always say that I will be better at blogging updates since I'm bad about not calling. Maybe this summer...

Today I wanted to share an answer to prayers. Yesterday morning before work I woke up early and spent time reading and praying that God would give me strength in knowing that He has not left me in this battle alone. This year has been pretty miserable at work. I'm overloaded and constantly exhausted--both physically and emotionally. Part of this is due to getting a student on my caseload who has serious emotional disorders. My heart breaks for this little girl because she is only 6 and is constantly at battle with her emotions. You can tell that it is exhausting for her too because she will sleep for a couple of hours after each episode. Her meltdowns have been getting more intense throughout the year and we have been struggling to find any local mental health services for her. She was receiving counseling from one agency but they dropped her saying that they couldn't meet her needs. Really?! So you just drop her?? I don't get the complete mental health void that exists in a city full of individuals with PTSD from Katrina. That's a whole other post though.

The plan we have in place for my student is a series of different things but when she reaches a certain intensity in her meltdown we call a mobile crisis team (the cops) after 10 minutes at that intensity. She came in full force yesterday morning and we had to call in the team shortly after she arrived. They actually had to cuff her to take her out safely and all I can think of at this point is that I'm so glad she didn't get to the gun holstered to the cop's hip. The hospital that she was taken to finally had an open bed to admit her for observation and by God's grace, mom agreed. My student has been taken out like this before but the hospital has never had room and mom has never been in agreement before so this in itself is a sheer miracle.

She was put into isolation last night because her behaviors were so intense and she was threatening to kill herself and us teachers. Pray that the doctors will have wisdom in treating her and show her grace. Also pray that God will give her and her mom peace. I imagine it is scary not having any familiar faces around. This is an incredible first step to put mom into action to get services for her daughter and to get my student on some medication that would allow her to function through life. I am encouraged!